“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” – J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
This is what that makes goodbyes harder: when it’s to friends and family found far away from home, where you know that it’s nearly impossible to go back. How do you ever say goodbye?
Do you have times where you held on to dear memories so damn hard, fearing that once it’s shared, it would lose its specialness? That thought came, fearing that those tender moments would lose its charm when shared. I suppose I didn’t want to admit that I’ve said goodbyes, because that means I’m ready to let go and fearing that I might forget.
Forgetting is the worst fear for any memory hoarders. I am one. If not, Miss Hoggy wouldn’t have existed. Her existence was at first for selfless reasons, like sharing my teaching adventures, learnt mistakes and my travel experiences to the world, to my closest and dearest at home, when I do leave home. Or so I thought. Later I realised, the reason why I write is ever so selfish: it’s my way to hoard memories, my goodbyes to places and people that I’ve fallen in love with.
Teaching adventures, eh? I am aware that under the ‘teaching’ tag of this blog, there’re probably only two posts. Actually, there were only two. It’s not because they were mundane in comparison to my travel experiences; it was because if I do write about it, it means that I’ve left and said goodbye. To my colleagues, my students and my host families who have taken me in as one of their own. And I don’t want to say goodbye. I wasn’t done with it yet, I wasn’t ready to let go. I just want to hold on it, just a little longer.
At long last, I still have to recognise that I have to leave, despite unwillingly and being enforced upon. Tearing away from my 300 students wasn’t easy, but in the end, with tears, we all have to let go and say it. Goodbye, that is.
I want to thank them for making my stay in Georgia ever so homely, ever so precious and ever so memorable. I promise, I will never forget you, not after goodbyes.